Hello again, Internet! It has been a year since I’ve given this space any attention, and it has been a year of enormous changes in every aspect of my life. I am excited to report that, with the exception of the monumental loss of my truly amazing husband, each change has only served to catapult me into a happier and healthier person. He wasn’t the only one to disappear: I lost my own life (as I knew it) when Phil died. There I was, teetering on the edge of 28 years old, and suddenly the future into which Phil and I had thrown our everything, at the sacrifice of so much, had vanished. We weren’t going to have those 5 happy children (a secret desire) in the perfect home, nestled somewhere near Seattle – a life full of love, comfort and warmth. I was alone in a big city filled with the ghost of him, overwhelmed by a sadness I will carry inside for my entire life and knocked back to the very beginning. There was not much I could salvage from the wreckage of everything. This was a blank slate. I was to become a new person, because, indeed, that’s what I was.

The intense dark days have waned, because I now know on the deepest level what my young but so wise Phil always knew: you choose how you feel each day. This was how he triumphed in conditions no one else could tolerate. I am so grateful for every minute we had together, and every lesson he taught. I treasure the memories of our life, and of our rare love, without drowning in despair.

I am excited to return to some of my old self’s loves: design, illustration and all things of good taste! And of course, I’d like to share this with you. Phil’s family has a wonderful saying that I loved seeing in their elegant cards and correspondence: Happiness Always. Let’s do that, shall we? Happiness Always!